Healthy Living is Just a Healthy Thought Away - Welcome and hello.  We are glad that you stopped by.  Take a seat.  Would you like something to drink?  Perhaps a warm, damp towel to wrap around your beautifully shaped skull?  Whatever it is that you need to relax, please let us know and we would be more than willing to accommodate.  We want your loosen your lobes, dilute your cerebellum, and tranquilize your benevolence region.

About

At Head Ripple, LTD, your head and your mind and your brain and your consciousness and your skull become one.  Our trained professionals are trained in helping individuals and families that are experiencing personal, emotional, chemical, or psychological problems.  We operate on the premise that truly effective living involves a concerted evaluation of your brain's 27 distinct areas and functions.  When one experiences difficulty in any aspect of life, they must locate the part of their brain and mind that is causing the disturbance to occur and gently massage the agitation away - usually through a mixture of heavy sedatives and lobotomies.

Services

Mental Health - We get it.  Sometimes your mind allows your brain to think about dangerous or disturbing situations and images.  You wish you could do something to stop the nightmarish voices and landscapes from forming, but nothing seems to work.  Let one of our phrenologists locate the section of your brain that is causing issues and extract the damaged tissue.

Chemical Health - After a long day at work, nothing tastes better than mind altering chemicals and substances.  However, did you know that many things that can make you happy, can also make you sad?  Instead of spending hundreds of dollars on artificial relief, cure your chemical dependencies for good by examining your brain for which section(s) need a tune up.

Postpartum and Prenatal Health - Living as a woman today is more difficult than living as a disabled person.  And with a new baby living in your groin, the stress levels will undoubtedly rise.  We work with new and expecting mothers on how to properly sedate key areas of the mind.  This allows you to worry less about your baby and focus more on just being yourself!

Couples/Family Therapy - Who is ever right in a he said, she said argument?  More often than not, it is the "she" who is correct, even if there is no substantial or observable evidence.  Couples and families can learn to grow together by finding a common ground - or in this case, a common area of their brains' network that have similar properties.  Find the love of your life, or become a better Mother, Father, or Sibling, through rigorous mapping and measuring of your cranium's core and mind's neural layout.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy - It's an unfortunate fact that sometimes hurting yourself actually feels good.  What's worse is, it is so easy to do and easy to hide from family and friends.  Just think, you could be hurting yourself right now, revealing tension and anxiety.  This is not a permanent solution.  Instead of hurting your skin, hurt your brain - more specifically, the region of the brain that is causing you to feel uncomfortable in the first place.

Our Trained Professionals

Alice Kagel - Phrenologist 

Education - Queens Pass Institute for Technology and Business, BA in Piano Performance

Clinical Approach - I enjoy working with people who are suffering from schizophrenia, dementia, and Alzheimer's disease.  It really gives me a great perspective on life and I don't need to take as many notes.  After all, it's not like any of my patients would understand or remember anything anyway.

Adam Parker - Phrenologist

Education - Stewartville Community College - AA in General Electives

Clinical Approach - I try to imagine each person as being a unique individual with their own issues, problems, and propensities.  However, when I am actually practicing on a subject, I know that everyone is pretty much the same underneath their skull.  We all have the same sentiments and faculties which makes brain operations really easy.

Alexander Rush - Phrenologist

Education - Queens Pass Institute for Technology and Business, Certificate in Candle Therapy

Clinical Approach - When a new patient walks into our office, I can tell what sort of person they are just by looking at the size and shape of their head.  For example, if they have lower foreheads, they are stupid - because they don't have enough space for their brain organs.  Or, if the person has large eye sockets, they have great vision.

Drew Scheno - Phrenologist

Education - Queens Pass Institute for Technology and Business, Quality Assurance Seminar

Clinical Approach - Three weeks ago, I didn't even know what phronenogy was.  Now, I am a trained professional, working with patients and being able to prescribe a wide variety of medications.  This is great and I am excited to work with new people.

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