Emails - 8/17

They say that there is nothing more American than baseball and apple pie.  However, I enjoy soccer far more than baseball and find apple pie far too sweet and unpalatable.  Just because I was born, raised, and live in Ireland, my opinion doesn’t matter?  

Shannon O

A man held me up outside a bar a few nights ago and told me to give him all of my money.  He had a gun and said that if I screamed, he would kill me.  I gave him my purse and, because he was kind of cute, I also gave him my number.  I hope he calls, because I am extremely lonely and he was the first person to show any interest in me for a long time.

Amy G

It was so cute!  Our youngest, Kayla, got into some trouble after she was caught drawing on the living room walls.  We put her in timeout and told her that she cannot do that anymore.  We told her that she would have to help clean it up and she wouldn’t be having any dessert for the rest of the week.  She was upset and started to cry.  While she was in timeout, she wrote a little note saying that she wasn’t sorry and that she was going to run away because she didn’t want to have mean parents anymore.  Well, this was close to 8 days ago and she is still out there somewhere, trying to prove to us that we were in the wrong.  Let me tell you this, my husband and I are not going to give in to a 6-year-old’s scare tactics.  She was wrong and her punishment is just.

Laurie E

It’s peculiar, but ever since my husband left me, I have been extremely sexually attracted to my own body and reflection.  Every time I look in the mirror, I visualize myself naked while a cloned version of myself rubs their hands over my arms and chest, massaging my muscles with exotic oils and balms.  Who needs a husband after all - I have me!

Brenda N